madam,wife,mother

Another Unhappy Ending

I thought I would try something a tad different today and write more in first person.This isn't going to be my own personal story,I don't think i'm quite ready for that yet.My life is almost entirely built on selective memories.Most people know nothing about the real me.I dole out small fragments here and there to coordinate with the atmosphere or make myself seem approchable,sympathethic or understanding whatever is needed at the moment.It occurs to me some of you may see me as cold.On the contrary I am a highly emotional person who is very taken by the plight of others.Girls in the industry smell weakness a mile away so I must sometimes hide my true feelings for my own preservation.In my world kindness and empthy are often seen as a weakness and used as a tool of manipulation.
I was working as a waitress at Waffle House raking in $300 on a good week.My ex-boyfriend Billy joined the Navy a year ago.It was suppose to be for "us".The only part of it that benefited me and Josh was that he was finally gone.Josh is our son.I got pregnant when I was 14 and in eighth grade.I'm seventeen now broke ,tired and lonely.My Dad works as a truck driver and bought me a trailer that was for sale 1 lot down from his.My mother left when I was two and in the famous words of Forest Gump that's all I got to say about that.
For the past few weeks there has been a very attractive black lady coming in.She always shows up real late and picks up her order to go.She always gives me a good tip and has plenty of money in her wallet.Tonight was an especially hard night and I was more fed up than ever.Instead of just thanking me after I packed her pattymelt she asked me about my night and commented on how young I looked.I told her my birthday was the follwing week and I would be 18.She gave me a card for a place called Ambrosia By Cammi.I wasn't exactly sure what kind of place it was but there was a silhoutted lady and it said full service Adult Entertainment.If you have ever saw a deer stuck in headlights you can imagine the expression on my face. A huge grin spread across her face and she told me my life could be much easier and to think about it and we could discuss it the next time she came in.After my initial shock I was just confused. This lady did not look like a prostitute or stripper or anything like that.Over the next few days my thoughts were of nothing else.
A couple of days later over a cup of coffee she explained she worked in an adult club and loved it.I could expect to make at least $500 a week and upwards of $2000 depending on me.There was a lady named Cammi that did the hiring and I would have to go in and talk to her.
Two nights later I called in sick at Waffle House.It took me forever to get dressed.I put on my tightest jeans and a snug stripped sweater.On t.v. dancers always wear thongs but all I had was nylon panties.After trying on every pair I decided on green and white stripped to match my sweater.A bra wasn't a concern because I never wore one anyway.
It was alot easier than I thought.All Cammi wanted was to show me around and make sure I felt comfortable enough to give it a try.At 5'5 with only a small B cup breasts and creamy pale skin I wasn't what I thought a stripper should like like.Cammi reassured me she hired a variety because every man likes something different and that not looking typical was a positive. Boy,was she right!
Within 3 weeks I had completely got into it.Not only was the money incredible I was having an awesome time.Although the guys were the ones paying, alot of them wanted to satisfy me!My first ,second, third etc... orgasms happened in that building.I also discovered the joys of bringing another woman to climax there.Hell, it got to the point I was begging clients to buy two girl sessions or bring in their significient others.The hardest part was deciding who was receiving the clients end result. I rarely even asked for tips anymore.Most of the guys were so happy afterwards they gave me more money anyways.Cammi did have to reprimand me on a few occassions.For the first time ever I felt so good I had to let the men know.Unfortunately, it came out in the forms of very loud moans and yells.Even over the music I was all they could hear in the main room.It was flattering when I came out and guys were just waiting and wanted to get their show with the girl that was so into party.It felt like the world was mine. I finally had a purpose, to put a smile on every guys face that would let me.All I thought about was sex.On my days off I even started calling sex lines and getting my boyfriend to satisfy me or just doing it myself while I talked to them.I experimented with bondage and lots of other things .Once I even talked two "straight" guy into blowing one another while I watched (that was as far as they would go party poopers).Leaving Cammi and Ambrosia was a thought I never entertained.My leaving wasn't a conscience decision I made. Instead it was one I forced Cammi into making for me.
Although, it has been many years since Missy has been with me she remains one of my favorites of all time.Ironically,she is also a source of great regret to me.Missy loved life and its pleasures more than anyone else I have ever met.Unfortunately she embraced drugs with the same enthusiasm.After repeated interventions and unsuccessful rehabs I said goodbye to Melissa for the final time.My hope was that the club was sort of a crutch that helped enable her and that without it she would fall and realize she had to help herslf back up.That was not to be the case.Approximately a year and half later far from home, alone and depressed Missy took her own life.An ex-boyfriends parents who had become very close to her son while they dated (with her father and the childs fathers permission) adopted him and he is doing great.

should I stay or should I go now?

:.) Hello again!
There wasn't an exact plan as to the order of the content I would include on this site.I was going to get you introduced to the club and give you a basic idea of the shows and sessions we sell, then maybe introduce the girls. Carrie is weighing heavy on my mind today and I would like to share a little about her.I have 3 phone lines at my club.One of those lines are devoted to personal calls for the girls.Their incoming and outgoing calls are recorded.It seems a sleazy thing to do but they all sign consent forms and if it weren't for a few girls in the past calling dealers to bring them drugs they wouldn't have this invasion.We only listen to their calls if we suspect questionable intent.I do not do drugs of any kind and will not go down for that.My business and the extras are something I view as a game.If I ever get caught in a situation my lawyer can't get me out of I will graciously except defeat and brace for the punishment.However, i will not allow my life to be turned topsy-turvey because of something I did not do and did not get a percentage of(ha-ha). Carrie is adorably cute and the clothing she choses and the way she carries herself makes her appear much younger than her 24 years.She actually came to me from another club with what I did not know at the time was a fake id. She was 17 and much wiser to misery than any 17 year old ever should be.Her basic philosophy like so many others is she has been doing it for free anyway why not get something out of it.Of course, I don't know how many guys in her personal life had the courage to ask her to call them Daddy Uncle or what other perverse role they were imagining.That is the curse of looking young or being very petite in this line of work you get the guys acting out their pediphilic (don't know if it's a real word but you know what I mean) fantasies.When I was dancing there was a gentlemen that said I reminded him of his young niece and wanted to role play a little along the lines of him being his young nephew ,me being the niece and us verbally expressing our sexual attraction for one another.Needless to say it never happened.The walls of the club have many memories of myself and girls arguing about there being things some of us would not do for any amount of money.(hint:I tend to get off track)A call between Carrie and a friend of hers was accidentally overheard.During one of Carries "furloughs" she was at an escort service(the owner was a typical yucky little guy that makes the girls sleep with him)where she met a driver she fell for.He obviously accepted "escorting" as a tolerable means of income.It is a few years later they share a beautiful child together,have both got divorces from their legal spouses and go to Vegas to get hitched(I suggested he wear an Elvis costume but noone ever embraces my visions).Four days after their return the call is overheard.She believed once they were actually married (opposed to playing house)he would no longer be able to bear the thought of her "at" the club.Lo and behold she awakes from this dream like so many before it with the stark light of reality exposing her to yet another crack in what is left of her heart.Everyone I have ever met in this business has had much disappointment and heartache.I believe our hearts have been shattered and we have just slivers and fragments that super glue we've made out of denial holds together.So you see we are broken but not destroyed.(except for Jennifer who I will tell you about another day) The picture of them both busting their butts an entire week to make maybe half what she does in a night wasn't the one he saw when he said I do.She took a stand,told him she wanted a "real" job and that he wasn't the one doing something that made him feel dirty and she was and quiting.Five days later she went home to find him hanging from an extension cord.Don't worry he is absolutely fine.She has decided it really isn't as bad as her friend made her think it was.After all the money is incredible and it still allows her plenty of time(she works approx.28hrs/wk and averages about $2300/wk take home) for him and the kids so she'll stay.(see it just took a little more super glue and everthing is fine..... till next time).The up part for me is that I get to keep one of my best money makers. Really it would have been just a short recess before she was back.You see they all come back.It's not just about money .It's like a monkey on their back.Something they hate to love(like pink flamingos).There is some secret part of me that longs to see one of them quit and still be happy.A small part of me is always the cheerleader standing on the side lines and rooting for them my team.Then another part flicks on a light and I see myself with no team and nothing to cher about.I'm going to lay down down my pom-poms change my colors and blend back into my family life. Good Night,Cammi

Intro to Cammi's World

Hello Web World!
My name is Cammi.I chose it after the chameleon.It seems like I am always having to adapt myself to the people around me.I live in the deep South and my husband and I own a dance/massage parlor.We generally live in upscale communities and our son has always been enrolled in private schools.Needless to say the people I interact with outside of the business and my "Cammi" persona have no idea what I do.The elderly lady at our local Post Office shares what's going on in her church and always has a smile and blessing for me.I can only imagine how much holy water and rebuking I would get if she had any idea.Then there are the mothers who smile and insist on gossiping about everyone.If they had any clue of the secrets I knew about their husbands.It has always been amusing at soccer games and other social functions to see how many clients I recognize.They always turn their back to me at neck breaking speed and try to hide.I have just been lucky none of them have had bad hearts.There is not even enough time tonight for me to get into the 11 girls I have on staff and their drama filled lives.In subsequent post I will try to highlight and give you a little insight into each of them.I can guarntee they rival any soap opera on television.Somtimes I get aggrevated with their bad choices, but make no mistake,I have a place in my heart for almost everyone of them.It's kind of a love hate relationship.All except for one of my current girls have been with me a minimumof 3 years.That is unheard of in this industry.They are constantly disappointing me but I just can not give up on them.My husband always tries to get me to see the bad and just expect the worse.There have been some very bad things that have happened to me in my colorful life.If I give up hope and start seeing just the bad in people I feel like I would have let "them" win and that A bright part of me will be lost.I just will not let that happen.As a result I am constantly being hurt and let down.Like I said in the beginning I am a master of disguise and am great at hiding what I really feel if not I don't think I could have survived my life.No, I am not one of those people who are still whining about my sad childhood.My trauma came from people I chose to have in my life.I always call my experiences "self-chosen".One last thing about me my moods can change rather rapidly.I may feel differently or have different opinions on almost a daily basis so i'll leave it up to you to decide if it's the madam or wife and mother you are sharing a few moments with.I hope you will enjoy my life and my 14 years of experience in the adult entertainment world.How much description and detail I will go into isn't something I have decided but I will try not to offend to many people and if I do offend you well just don't come back.