Kaboom!

I guess I kinda handled the thing with Serena and Helga.They were to the point of just ignoring each other but that was before me.Some how I really instigated the thing and it got ugly.If the road to hell is paved with good intentions I'm definitely spreading my share of tar.

The day before Helga (who is Russian and has a heavy accent)had called me upset.She was speaking very fast and I only understood part of what she said.Serena had called her that day and threatened to beat her up the next time she saw her at work.I called Diana to see if she knew what was going on before I called Serena.(A graft may be helpful here)Isabella (who is still out on maternity leave) called Diana and told her that Serena had called her to tell her about an argument she(Serena) had with Helga (that day).Supposedly Serena had "accidentally" called Helga.Helga didn't answer but she did call the number back.Serena's version was Helga started yelling at her that she was harassing her and she would call the police if she hit her.After hearing Isabella's version from Diana I was ready to call Serena.She denied calling Helga.She said it had been about a week since she spoke to her at all.I specifically said"So you did not call Helga or speak to her at all today?""No" she said.Thanks to Isabella calling Diana I knew she was lying to me.I listened through an entire performance of yelling,screaming and her calling Helga nasty names for lying on her(big sigh).If I didn't expect as much I would have been upset.This is why I can't trust them.It's ashamed but it is the way it is.Helga I am sure wasn't completely innocent but Serena convinced me of her part.

Saturday night Serena got there before Helga.I was angry that she had lied to me about the call and Helga's shoes had got stolen the next day.I tried hard but I probably did have an attitude.There is so much shit going on right now that I just don't have the patience to deal with this trivial nonsense.In the middle of Serena and I having a "discussion" about the shoes Helga walks in.Serena is immediately screaming at her about calling me to tattle.Serena is one of those real classy broads that wags her head from side to side and yells nonstop until she is hoarse.There is no reasoning with her.Her mouth opens and her ears shut.I let her go on for a few moments and wear herself out.I explained to her that it was not Helga who called and told me about the shoes(truthfully it wasn't).I tried to turn it into a civilized affair but we're back to Dorothy Parker's quote about whores.(All girls in this business are not like this,just the large majority and anyone who tells you differently is either lying or living in a much different world than mine)Helga got in a very few words.I'm not even sure she understood half of what was being said which is probably a good thing.The main point that started all this was they were both in a bad mood when Helga came to get Serena(who was cleaning up after a show) to meet a client.Serena thought Helga wanted her to came out to greet him and that her tone was harsh.Helga had already given him the spiel and sometimes foreign peoples English comes out sounding rude/angry(this is just my opinion).Normally this would have blown over in a minute but Helga told Serena to Fuck Off and that she had never been a real friend to her anyway.That was the moment the gloves came off.Serena is real tough and has been around a lot but she gets her feelings hurt very easily.She prides herself on trying to be a friend and help the other girls out(she is nurturing just in a funky totally dysfunctional way).Helga is a hypochondriac.She has called Serena in the wee hours several times panicking over some imaginary symptoms that she may die from.Helga does not drive and Serena brings extra condoms for her on the nights her boyfriend brings her to work.Serena also takes Helga's incriminating items home to dispose of so Helga's boyfriend will not find them.Helga has trouble communicating over the phone so Serena has helped her with everything from ordering food to legal matters.Serena even used her cell phone that has free long distance to make calls cross country for Helga.Don't misunderstand.Serena can be a bitch and she doesn't want you or anyone else to forget how nice she is or all the things she does to be a good friend.I finally quieted Serena down and tried to give Helga a say.I explained Serena wasn't angry as much as hurt.(personally I think its stupid to be so damn sensitive over something so inconsequential) At this point Serena was bawling like a big baby and tried to make up.Helga again said Serena was not her friend.I tried to diffuse the situation and get Helga to admit that they were friends before this silly argument.She landed the fatal blow with  "No she was never my friend and she has never even been nice to me since I got here".Boom that blew up in my face.As always it was a little funny.I excused Helga and contained my laughter until she stepped from the room.Serena was looking at me like I was completely insane.I love the smurfs and all I could think of was when Jokey smurf would give some unsuspecting little fellow smurf a big beautifully wrapped present.The recipient had a giant smile as he ripped away the bow to have the package blow up in his face.I was the less than clever one left with the sooty frown.She did smile when I explained I had expected Helga to admit they were friends and the whole thing would come to an end instead of me taking the top off the salt and inviting Helga to rub it in as I poured it on.Serena felt even worse after all my help.We talked for quit awhile(boring,hold her hand and make it all better bullshit.They are both great money makers so I do what I got to do.) and I tried to lull her out of her crying and pouting.She was smiling and vowing never to speak with any of the girls again on a personal basis.I'll hold my breath.

Monday night Serena she broke down crying and saying how mean I had been to her.This can all be explained with on word pills.She is trying to kick a 12 Loratabs a day habit.Carrie is going pretty good on some pills coloda(I rarely take any medication and have little knowledge about prescription pills.I do know their kidneys and livers are going to shrivel up and fall out.)  or something like that.They have a grand cleanup plan.They don't like each others pills much so they are trading so they will pop less a day and hopefully quit altogether.I tried to explain they would build up tolerances and dependencies on these new pills but they don't believe me.

Serena has been upset about a settlement that ended up not being as much as she thought it would be.It was enough that she is taking off a week.The rest might do her some good.

I got turned down for another building today.The gentleman does not think the surrounding tenants would appreciate his leasing to us.The funniest part is he leases to a girl that fronts a adult business as a tanning salon.They have nowhere near the volume we do and work limited hours.It is a weird arrangement that takes several calls ending with a client at a pay phone in the vicinity of their location and only then is he given an address.The landlord asked me if I knew them.He then explained they were suppose to be a tanning place but that he had heard otherwise.I have saw a few small personal ads with the places name but have never heard anyone talk about the place.Our clients love to tell us about other places.None of the girls or myself have ever heard a word.The lady that owns it called me once with some crazy story about someone calling her to say we were getting busted that week and we should be careful.She wanted me to reciprocate and share any future tidbits that fell my way and tried to gossip about girls she knew.She was strange and I just politely shooed her away.About a year ago another girl trying to run a business (in an illegal location) similar to mine called and wanted to meet with me for advise.Yeah sure okay.What the hell was she thinking?It must be the neon blinking sign over my head inviting all dumb asses to step on up.